DANCING ON ICE Monday, Jan 14 2008

I’ve never watched Dancing On Ice before. However, like many of these new celebrity shows, you can read between the scripting and urges behind the celebs. For instance, even before any dancing began, I picked Suzanne Shaw to win.
How could I be so sure? Well, celebs only go on such shows to revitalize their careers, and I often play a game to decide who’s the most driven. Suzanne was young enough and good looking enough to make it. But there was more than this in my decision.

Out of the three girls in the band, Hear’Say, she’s the only one out in the cold.

And I don’t mean on the ice rink. Both Kym Marsh and Myleene Klass are doing very well, thank you very much, so Suzanne’s psychology would be – bring it on!
And she nearly won, beaten only by some Hollyoaks nobody who already knew how to skate. But my tip for the winner of the series remains Suzanne. However, I’m a bit annoyed by the show.

Phillip Schofield is good.

I like him – but as a glitzy celeb presenter, he’s no Bruce Forsyth. And this is the problem. Apart from the ‘kiddy factor’ – sorry The X Factor – ITV1 fails miserably next to BBC1 on Saturday evenings.
So what do they do? Move it to Sunday. And this is impinging on hallowed territory. Sunday has been a great success for ITV because it is the cosy night. A couple of SOAPs, a Yorkshire nicey nicey drama – Heartbeat, etc – and a gentle mystery or play, it’s my favourite night on TV.
But now I fear for my Sunday nights. In their relentless pursuit of ratings, and satisfying the younger audience, I do hope ITV don’t intend placing Saturday night glitz on Sunday cosiness as a matter of course.
If so, then it is just more contempt for the older viewer – you know, the ones who watch TV most.
Idiots.

© Anthony North, January 2008

From my Diary - WE’RE SPECIALIST CRAZY

Okay, so I have a medical complaint – I don’t, so don’t panic (apart from chronic fatigue syndrome, that is). I’m speaking metaphorically. Obviously, I would want this sorted out, and I’d want the best, wouldn’t I? I’d want to know that I’m in good hands. But do I necessarily need a specialist …
… read more …

For light relief - FICTION PAGE

From twist in the tale to horror, from crime to science fiction, my Fiction Page has dozens of short short stories, each taking only a couple of minutes to read. Give it a try - and then come back for one a day.
… access here …

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BYE, BYE PARKY Thursday, Dec 20 2007

On Sunday night I watched the very last interviews by my fellow Yorkshireman, Michael Parkinson. Since the early 1970s the Parkinson show has been the greatest UK chat show.
The respect he has earned was obvious in a final list of guests, including Sir Michael Caine, Sir David Attenborough and Dame Judi Dench. The latter seemed over-wrought with emotion over the end of this mammoth career.
You simply could not be a major celebrity, in the UK or US, without being interviewed by Parky. And always the interview would be entertaining, but probing, allowing the celebrity to talk, often opening up in a way no other show could achieve.
In the rather pathetic celebrity world of today, and interviewers who use guests as props for their own ‘thing’ they mistakenly call wit, this brilliant jewel of a show will be sadly missed. I wish you well, Michael, and thank you.

© Anthony North, December 2007

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I’M A CELEBRITY … GET ME OUT OF HERE Tuesday, Nov 13 2007

Okay, it’s back. I’m a Celebrity returns on ITV1 (UK), and will be on every night for the next three weeks. Now, I’m not a fan of most reality shows, but I’ve always enjoyed this programme.
The hosts, Ant & Dec, are good. They’ve got excellent personalities and have ‘star’ written all over them. They’re no Morecambe & Wise, but in today’s trivia-infested media they’re as good as you’re going to get.

So they hold the programme together regardless.

But the real thing I like about it is the way it reduces known celebrities to the raw and we get a glimpse of what they’re really like. Indeed, the public, too. For when there’s one they don’t like, the voting system can be tantamount to bullying.
So the latest ‘victims’ were dragged out last night, bungee jumping into the jungle, prepared to be starved, humiliated, thrown to the crocs and made to eat kangaroo testicles. So who have we got this year?
Well …

Who?

Never mind, you can watch the incredible Spooks on Tuesday nights (BBC1). I was going to say there’s also The Street on Thursday, but they’ve sandwiched this, placing the new Kris Marshall drama, Sold, between programmes. Do hope it doesn’t ruin Kris’s career when this whole sandwich flops. I like him, too.
I think, unless I’m a Celebrity gets its act together pretty quick, it will be part of TV history.
A shame.

© Anthony North, November 2007

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BLACK ROLE MODELS Saturday, Aug 11 2007

There is no more evidence that the UK government continues to lose the plot than the idea that African-Caribbean boys should have role models such as teachers, lawyers, and even politicians such as Paul Boateng.
In recommendations presented to Communities Secretary Hazel Blears, this is the best way to attract black boys away from the gang and gun culture. Which is, of course, absolute rubbish.

ROLE MODELS

It may be true that rap stars and footballers present incorrect role models, but what must be understood is that these influences are part of ‘culture’, not professional life. Hence, the best way to achieve the desired effect is to use culture to its full extent.
This requires role models within culture who actually start off as these kids do, and not those who are perceived as the ‘lucky ones’ who got a break, or those who have abandoned black culture for white.

CULTURE

Programmes such as Eastenders should get their act together here. Indeed, they have a perfect role model in the character, Gus. A young black lad who managed to escape gang culture through his brother, he is a poor, but decent, honest person.
Gus has not abandoned who he is, but has managed to be a fully functioning member of a decent society. He hasn’t had lucky breaks, or refused to accept who he is. A perfect fictional role model, except – at present he is seen as a loser.
What brilliant opportunities are missed – by culture, and the idiots in government who think they understand the problem.

© Anthony North, August 2007

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THE GOODY AND MORGAN SHOW Wednesday, Aug 1 2007

If you want to know what’s wrong with modern culture, you couldn’t have done better than watching ‘You Can’t fire Me, I’m Famous’ on BBC1, 31 July 2007. Watching Piers Morgan interview Jade Goody was quite nauseating.
You couldn’t have two people more representative of the death of culture – one, a celebrity without talent, the other a fired tabloid editor who did his own fair share in imposing this trashy, trivial, pointless celebrity culture upon us.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve nothing against celebrities, as long as they have excelled at something. But celebrity for celebrity’s sake offers everyone the false dream that modern culture can enrich you.
It cannot. All it can do is enrich big business, who fuel the celebrity dream to entice the consumer to spend. And the tabloids are the main media through which this pointlessness arose.
I can, infact, feel sorry for Jade – to a point. She believed the dream and it shot her down. It always will. But for the culture that produced the Morgan’s of this world, I can think of other words.

© Anthony North, August 2007

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELTON Friday, Mar 30 2007

Happy Birthday Elton (ITV1 – UK, 29 Mar 07) was an enjoyable, if occasionally embarrassing celebrity-fest. Marking the 60th birthday of Elton John, celebrities lined up to get on telly and be Elton’s ‘friend.’ There appeared so many egos there that I’m surprised Madison Square Gardens didn’t sink.
This aside, Elton was on top form, giving us classics such as Rocket Man and Your Song. The perfect showman, his voice strained on some of the more aggressive songs, but on ballads his voice seems to be getting better, more mature and fitting to the ballad.
I’ve never classed Elton John as one of my favourites, but he certainly deserves the career he’s had – especially with the work he does for the Elton John AIDS Foundation. And I’m told you can always guarantee a good time at his concerts.
The closest I came to seeing him live was the 1976 Hyde Park Queen concert. In support was Kiki Dee and for ‘Don’t Go Breaking My Heart’ she brought out a life-size cardboard cut-out of Elton. He didn’t do much that day – unlike his birthday bash.

© Anthony North, Mar 2007

This is a post from Anthony North’s ‘alternative network.’ Current affairs posts almost daily on North’s Review and Eye on the World (this includes politics and links). North’s Review also has fiction, writers’ resources and TV reviews. For deeper issues, including paranormal, crime, environment and much more, Beyond the Blog is for you.

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