alpha-old-woman.jpgMatilda Green walked purposefully out of the village post office, realising she was late. Pension day was always a problem, as Mrs Evans, the post mistress, could chat for England. Not that Matilda minded that much. Although not a gossip herself, she so did like to keep up with village affairs.
There was a slight chill in the air, so Matilda welcomed her green cardigan, wrapped around her delicate, seventy year old frame. As she approached her cottage, she noticed a visitor waiting by her door.
‘Good morning, Penny,’ she said as she closed her gate. ‘You’re just in time.’
Penny, a woman in her mid-twenties, attractive with blonde hair, smiled. ‘As if I would be late, Aunt Matilda.’
Of course, Matilda wasn’t really her aunt, but many of the young village wives had a close association with Matilda. Indeed, the villagers thought it quite wonderful how Matilda looked after the girls.
Together, they entered the cottage. Sitting down, Penny said: ‘Aunt Matilda, I think my husband is having an affair. ‘
Matilda sat stiffly, smiled. ‘Are you sure, dear. I’m sure he wouldn’t.’
Penny laid out the facts before her - the suspicious behaviour, coming home late, an obvious worry on his face. As she explained, Matilda remembered the latest gossip from Mrs Evans: ‘And young Penny’s husband,’ she had said, ‘rumour is his farm is in difficulty. Quite desperate, I understand.’
The clock struck the hour as Penny finished her story. At about the same time, there was a knock on the door. Matilda smiled once more. ‘Your eleven o’clock, dear. We’ll talk later. ‘
As Matilda opened the door, and the well dressed gentleman walked in, Penny stripped down to her sexy, silky underwear, pouted innocently at the gentleman and took him into the bedroom. Matilda sat down in her chair and began to knit, happy she was helping the girls to earn that extra cash to see them through hard times.
An hour later, Matilda laid out the facts to Penny; what the gossips were saying about the state of the farm, and her own absolute belief that Penny was wrong.
‘Well we’ll soon see,’ said Penny. ‘He’s going out at three o’clock this afternoon, and I’m sure he’s going to see her. ‘

At ten to three, Matilda Green deposited herself in her Mini and drove off. Just catching the errant husband as he drove from his farm, she followed at a suitable distance. Driving into town, he parked his car and walked over to a nearby cafe. Going inside, he ordered a pot of tea and waited. Matilda, of course, did likewise, secreting herself just round the corner so that the husband could not see her.
A short time passed before the rather attractive woman of forty entered and sat by him. Matilda pricked back her ears. For a woman of seventy, she was remarkably good of hearing - a fact that had often come in handy. And she was soon satisfied that her faith in Penny’s husband was justified.

Later that evening, Matilda sat in her cottage, Penny looking worried in front of her. ‘It’s quite simple,’ said Matilda. ‘Some time ago your husband was quite silly and tried fiddling the tax man. The woman your husband is seeing works at the local tax office, and obviously subsidizes her income by covering up such irregularities and blackmailing the offenders.’
Penny looked annoyed. ‘The fool. I’ll kill him. No wonder the farm isn’t making much money.’
Matilda shook her head. ‘I don’t think we need to tell him anything, Penny dear. I think I’m a good judge of people. I’m sure we can sort this problem out ourselves.’ Matilda leant forward, offered her cheeky smile. ‘Now, dear,’ she said, ‘This is what we’ll do.’

Later that night, Penny entered the bar alone. Matilda had already done the groundwork, found out about her husband, the target’s habits. Noticing the woman by the bar, she approached. Sat. Smiled sweetly.
The signs, of course, passed between them without words, and less than an hour later the two lovers were in the hotel room doing what lovers do.
The following morning, Matilda Green sat in the cafe, waiting for the target to arrive. After all, she guessed she wouldn’t have to wait long. There was bound to be other suckers she was blackmailing.
As the woman sat, Matilda stood up and approached her, sitting down, she said: ‘Lovely day, isn’t it dear?’
She seemed irritated, but replied, yes.
‘A lovely day for taking pictures,’ said Matilda. ‘I do so like taking pictures, dear. Maybe you’d like to see the ones I took last night.’

Penny went to see Matilda that afternoon. ‘How did it go?’ she asked.
‘Perfect,’ said Matilda. ‘She’ll be handing in her resignation today.’ Matilda sat back. ‘I so do like providing a service for the community.’
At that point, another of Matilda’s girls walked in. The appointment would be in ten minutes. Matilda recalled the booking. ‘Something special?’ she had said on the phone. ‘Of course, dear, you want Daisy Mae. But I’m afraid it will cost double.’
To her new arrival, she said: ‘Hello, Daisy, dear.’
‘Hello, Aunt Matilda. Mae said she’ll be along in a minute.’

© Anthony North, January 2008

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